i hate everything in my life~

recently had cut my hair short then lots of unlucky stuffs just appeared continuously within 1 weeks time~which made my life unbelievable horribly suffering

ever since i've been transfered up to melor 1, my life sucks~

1st incident:
oncall with 1 senior MO who is damn not thoughtful, insisted to get things done fast~
trace results fast
clerk case fast
everything fast
and yet she is sleeping inside MO's room soundly and me clerking case tiringly in the ward~
just missed 1 blood result being traced...she's shouting at me for that~
and the whole night ...the management for the child is totally wrong even though i informed her the result abit late~
the specialist blamed her and she put all her anger towards me~
since then, every single mistake i made or not mine is considered a big mistake i made~what a bitch she is~

2nd incident:
my colleage dr s got pissed off with me because of not waiting for her to dabao food together~
what a childish act ~
for those working in paediatrics under Dr K will always have to eat fast when it's free because of TDS rounds and her mis--time management~
that morning, she was stuck with a case together with dr K(MO),i approached her to ask whether want to go down and dabao not, she din answered but silently wish that i would wait for her after that case being clerked~
i din wait for her as who knows Dr K might be doing round unexpectedly~
quickyly, my colleague and i went down dabaoing the food without her~ but of cause, dabao for her as well~
when we returned to ward, she wasnt appreaciate the food and yet throwing tempered at me as why i din wait for her? she refused the food and also din want to talk to us for just that small little matter~
what she wants actually? belongingship?
we are just colleague or may be a normal friend~
we are not that close until can address us as good friends
and please dun be such childish until acting as if we are primary school children~
we are mid 20's reaching 30's soon
i know u dun have boyfriend and i oso single ...but i'm not lesbian okay..
i will treat every colleague as friends but nobody will be so easily becomes my good friend or best friend as i just wont treasure them~

i can mix well with every human with different characters but please dun expect me to be ur good frend~

i just love to work alone and be alone and dun ever intervene my life unless i give permission~

3rd incident: i broke rules and causing every paeds HO losing their precious weekend leave~
today , i supposed to have happy family reunion as my brother just came back from US after leaving us for 4 months
i always prioritised my family as 1st place in my life~
even though my mother always giving me wet blanket and critisizing for every single decision i made
~my attire~my hairstyle~everything which made me damn want to leave my family away
but i cannot do so as i love my family very much even though they are not supportive with their conservative mindset~

today i just din turned up for work and my Boss Dr T was searching for me and pissed of with my "irresponsible" disappearance~
i already applied weekend leave few days away and i just dunno how to check whether it's approved or not and i oso just din bothered about it ~
the whole paeds HO were pissed of with me as they deprived of weekend off for the next month because of my selfish act~

damn feeling guilty now~
truly speaking, i'm the person who just cant breath under lot's of rules~
i dun like rules and like to break them~
please lah~weekend off is the rights of every single dr's
i really dun like being a dr
dr actually is like the maids in the health system~
how i wish i dun be a dr~
but if not being a dr, wat else i can be? i will be a begger as i dun have other skills to earn a living...wat to do?!

how i wish my life will be end soon
if i died, i tin i wont regret oso as my life is not meaningful anyway~
i'm just orang gaji for everyone only~